Saying he didn’t need to wait for the CDC before taking action to safeguard the health of Americans, President Trump today signed an executive order banning the sale of Mexican beer in the United States.
“The coronavirus will not be allowed to spread here.”
Medical experts quickly tried to inform the President that he had misunderstood the pathogen’s name, but he angrily dismissed their concerns.
“Obviously I know it doesn’t just mean Corona – Sol and Dos Equis are just as dangerous!”
Anyone found drinking Mexican beer will be put into quarantine in hastily assembled open-air fenced camps beneath freeway underpasses.
“Fortunately we already have a lot of experience building them and treating the people inside like they are highly infectious.”
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