Trump Calls For Rigorous Scientific Studies To Determine If Chloroquine Cures COVID-19 Faster Than Demon Sperm

President Trump today conceded that Dr. Fauci was right all along in calling for rigorous double-blinded scientific testing before making pronouncements about the efficacy of medical treatments for treating COVID-19 patients.

“That is why I have decided we must have a controlled comparative study of treatment with Chloroquine versus with Demon Sperm to determine which is the most effective therapeutic for defeating the invisible enemy.”

This raised immediate questions as to why bleach ingestion – as previously recommended by the President – wasn’t to be included in the clinical trials. But a White House spokesperson explained that was no longer necessary.

“Thankfully some of President Trump’s biggest supporters have already conducted that experiment for us and determined it’s not so great.”

Trump added that the United States was all the better prepared to deal with the pandemic thanks to his early actions on banning flights from China and creating the Space Force.

“My new military branch will play an integral role in combating the Alien DNA element to the terrible health crisis facing us.”

HELP KEEP THE SATIRE COMING!

1 Comment on "Trump Calls For Rigorous Scientific Studies To Determine If Chloroquine Cures COVID-19 Faster Than Demon Sperm"

  1. This can’t be Biblical because the Bible doesn’t say that the Anti-Christ will be an ignorant ass fool. This man is going to do more
    Irreversible damage to this country before he is yanked out of office. I can’t wait see and hear all of what he’s been hiding for the past four years.

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