(The White House) In a further example of how much more caring he is than previous holders of the office, President Trump spent the morning on the phone giving comfort to those who have lost so much.

His first, and by far the longest, call was to himself, on learning that his fortune had shrunk by 600 million dollars, causing him to fall to 248th place in the 2017 Forbes 400 ranking of rich folk.

“I spent the morning on the phone with a great person, beautiful person, who just lost his top 200 ranking on the Forbes list of wealthiest Americans. So sad!”

Trump said he did his best to offer solace to the recently impoverished parent of five, but it wasn’t all doom and gloom.

“Fortunately I was able to offer this fine American some hope that, though that 600 million is gone, he could look forward to receiving a different 600 million in the future thanks to tax cuts and other schemes I have in the works.”

Trump concluded the call by reminding the man that both he and the rest of America knew exactly what they were doing when they signed up for this.

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