With everyone concerned about a person of Donald Trump temperament controlling a nuclear arsenal there was a moment of panic on Inauguration Day when it became time for the military aide tasked with carrying the nuclear football to shadow Donald Trump.
Obama winked and passed the aide a NFL regulation game ball onto which he had glued a Nintendo mini controller, which Trump nodded approvingly at it thinking it was the real thing.
Officials knew they had made the right call when Trump later grabbed it, announced it was time to teach China a lesson, and launched what he believed was a 10 megaton strike against the manufacturing province of Shandong.
The Chinese have reportedly agreed to pretend their third wealthiest province is now a charred radioactive wasteland in front of Trump so that he doesn’t get suspicious.
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