Trump Declares the Fourteenth Of June A New Federal Holiday

Saying how wonderful it was to see all Americans enjoy a day off to celebrate the birth of the nation on this Independence Day, President Trump today promised to create a whole new Federal Holiday for everyone to enjoy.

“I hereby pledge to make June the 14th National Trump Day.”

Saying it was unfortunate he only thought of the idea after his birthday had already passed this year, Trump promised to declare a National Trump Week in the middle of June 2019 to make up for it.

“For one whole week we will stop working so hard to eat and shop and celebrate instead.”

Though it’s not unheard of to name Federal holidays after an individual or group of individuals, they are usually notable defenders of freedom, and also dead. In declaring a Federal holiday in honor of himself while still in office, President Trump is flouting established practice.

Trump’s supporters are unsurprisingly firmly behind the proposal. However many people who ordinarily are totally opposed to everything this administration does could also come out in support of him this time, meaning it could become a reality.

“If there’s one thing all Americans love, it’s a day off in summer.”

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