Trump Declares Victory After Reaching 270 By Eating Burgers All Day

(The White House) During a speech delivered in the Press Briefing room, President Trump today declared an unambiguous victory in the Presidential election after comfortably clearing the 270 hurdle earlier this afternoon.

“Despite being recently afflicted by COVID – which set me back a good twenty pounds – I can report I have now attained the required threshold of 270 and then some.”

Trump reportedly achieved his convincing victory in the Oval Office after a ‘marathon’ session eating his favorite fast foods. Political observers says this is an impressive result even by historical standards.

“Just one look at Biden tells you Trump’s won this by a landslide

HELP KEEP THE SATIRE COMING!

1 Comment on "Trump Declares Victory After Reaching 270 By Eating Burgers All Day"

  1. Zrich Lieberman | November 21, 2021 at 10:20 pm | Reply

    If you want quality food at lower prices check ou my place chester chicken inside a shellgas station. We use gas a secret ingrediant and week old chicken as special seasonings. Also special used oil for our special customer# make it an experience in chicken you will not forgot. My partner in life and food expert says this is the best chicken on earth. Jan wahl my wife eats @ bucket of 12 each day.

    I am also a featured kars for kids singer avaailable for bar mitzvzh rap concerts and other singing gigs.

    Rich Lieberman Bay Area Mysogonist and Freeloader Oakland CA [email protected]

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