President Trump has rejected criticism of his lavish celebrations taking place on July 4th, saying he is only doing what it right.
“It’s important we celebrate our Independence from Mexico.”
Trump added that those who disapprove of his border policy should remember when Mexico held sway over cities like Boston.
“Our forefathers didn’t dump all that tequila in the harbor only to be ignored now. Believe me.”
There will also be a special place for the President’s favorite countries, who have been invited to enter floats, with Russia taking up the offer.
“We may have been enemies in WWI and WWII, but now we get on great. So great!”