Trump Demands Better Fortunes From Visiting Chinese Leader Xi Jinping

After a cordial evening on his first day in Florida, Chinese Premier Xi Jinping sat down today with Dealmaker in Chief Donald Trump to hammer out an understanding between the world two largest economies.

President Trump wasted no time getting down to the issue that most concerned him – the deplorable state of fortune cookies that Americans receive with their Chinese food.

“Some of these ‘fortunes’ are really just sayings, and the ones that aren’t rarely come true. So wrong!”

Xi tried to explain that fortune cookies, together with most Chinese food in the United States, are an American invention. But Trump held firm.

“You’re not leaving here until you agree to produce more accurate fortunes – and ‘you’ll be hungry again very soon’ doesn’t count!”

In the end Xi promised to do his best to improve the standard of fortune cookies in exchange for concessions on free trade and a free hand in the South China Sea.

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