After returning from his second trip to Europe in as many weeks, President Trump was finally briefed on dubious photographic evidence suggesting famed aviator Amelia Earhart might have survived her final flight and been taken into Japanese custody.

An enraged Trump immediately demanded she be released and allowed to fly herself back to the United States where he intends to give her a hero’s welcome.

When Japanese Prime Minister Shinzō Abe got in touch to politely inform him that would be quite impossible, Trump took to twitter to accuse him of sexism.

“How dare Prime Minister Abe insinuate that a woman is incapable of piloting an aircraft. So wrong!”

Trump is reportedly determined to make a big show of Earhart stepping back onto U.S. soil, and has directed White House staff to invite such famous Americans as Neil Armstrong, Frederick Douglass, and Bono to be there to welcome her home.

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