Trump Demands NFL Teams Eliminate Position Of Placekick Holder

No longer allowed by order of the President.

In a continuing escalation of his dispute with the National Football League, President Trump today demanded that Commissioner Roger Goodell eliminate the position of holder.

Now its own specialist role, the holder receives the snap and goes down on one knee, which Trump described as unpatriotic.

“This insult to our flag during every field goal or extra point attempt is wrong. So wrong!”

Instead Trump insists the player position of holder be removed as soon as possible, with the provision against roughing the holder dropped straight away.

“Anyone on the opposing team or even the same team should be allowed tackle the holder as soon as his knee touches the ground.”

He suggests a drop kick be taken instead, removing the need for a holder entirely, which is already the case in Army and Navy games by Executive Order.

“Any NFL place kicker who wont punt is an SOB who needs to be fired!”

Trump rejects criticism that he is wasting time by obsessing over the NFL, as he is so good at Precedenting that it only takes up a fraction of his day.

“My predecessor worked on the North Korea problem and barely shifting the status quo over 8 years, whereas I’ve brought us to the brink of war in only six months. Efficiency!”

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2 Comments on "Trump Demands NFL Teams Eliminate Position Of Placekick Holder"

  1. I think you’re funny but I also think it’s fake. Sorry but I ain’t buying
    it. Somebody sent this to me without your name being given when I looked a little closer and discovered that you’re a sarcastic site it made a little more sense but I almost believed that trump would do something like this, the SOB!

  2. I think you’re funny but I also think it’s fake. Sorry but I ain’t buying
    it.

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