Following up on President Trump’s pledge to allow Robert Mueller to question him, the White House today outlined a number of conditions that would have to be met before it could happen.

“The President insists on getting one phone-a-friend, two 50/50s, and a minimum of three lifelines before he agrees to take the hot seat.”

Clarification was also sought as to whether Mueller would pose his questions in person, or have Regis do it for him.

“Either is fine, as long as it’s not Meredith Vieria.”

Trump added that if he goes all the way he better get more than a million dollars.

“I’ve already got billions, so that’s not much of an incentive to appear.”

A share of advertising sales is also being sought.