Trump Demands To Know Meaning Of The Word “Existential”

Democratic front runner Joe Biden tore into President Trump’s record today, describing him as an ‘existential threat’ to the United States. When informed of the remark, Trump was furious with aides for not first translating Biden’s accusation into the subset of english he understands.

“Does it mean great threat, yuge threat, or bigly threat?”

With the 2020 campaign starting in earnest, Trump had demanded that everything that is said about him using polysyllabic words be immediately translated into Trumpspeak before being passed on to him.

“I need to be able to understand the words. All the words. If there’s no good translation use covfefe. It’s the best word.”

Having been told that Biden’s remark translating into Trump being the ‘biglyest threat imaginable – believe me there’s no bigger threat – it’s the worst threat’ to the United States, Trump cleared his schedule saying he needed to work on a new insult in response.

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