President Trump clarified his position on the 2005 Access Hollywood tape today by denying it’s him on tape, or that there was a tape, or a program called Access Hollywood.

“You must be thinking of Extra or The Insider.”

Trump further said that talk of his voice being the one on tape made no sense whatsoever, given what tape is and does.

“The only kind of tape in the universe is Scotch Tape, and it is used for sealing boxes, not recording.”

He went on to claim that the very idea of a person called Billy Bush existing is ridiculous.

“Billy Bush, Access Hollywood, and the ability to reproduce sound are all Fake News.”