President Trump has denied reports he works for Russia after numerous political opponents report raised the question.
“I’m still just an unpaid intern right now.”
President Putin confirmed Trump’s statement, saying that though he showed great promise, Trump’s experience as a despot was insufficcient to justify a paid position at this time.
“Firing people on The Apprentice is simply not the same as executing journalists and opposition politicians.”
But Putin praised Trump for his performance thus far, especially as he was completing his internship in the White House.
“It traditionally has been a diffucult environment in which to complete authoritarian tasks, but he’s made great strides.”
Putin is so impressed that he is considering offering Trump a salaried position working for Russia in the future.
“I’m thinking a 2020 start date with a four-year contract guaranteed.”