Following his return from the G20 meeting during which he often appeared distracted, doctors have diagnosed President Trump with clinical exhaustion and prescribed total bedrest without interruption.

“For not a day less than 3 and a half years in our considered medical opinion.”

They recommend Trump be isolated in a dimly lit room, with no access to cable TV or devices like smartphones that could agitate him.

“I think we can all agree this is for the best.”

Though the current prognosis is that 3 and a half years rest will be sufficient, they warn that could change depending on how tconditions develop.

“There is a slim possibility that it won’t be enough, in which case
a full 7 and a half years of undisturbed rest is absolutely essential.”

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