President Trump was reportedly turning the White House upside-down today, telling aides is was imperative his Birther Playbook be located.

“You’d better not have thrown it out!”

The playbook of birther strategies to discredit opponents that was drawn up by Trump for his first Presidential run had been cleared away as it was thought it was no longer needed, but the announcement by Kamala Harris that she is running prompted Trump to demand it be found.

Staffers tried to point out that Harris was born in Oakland, California, so there was no question whatsoever regarding her eligibility to be President, but Trump insisted they had no clue how his birther strategy works.

“It didn’t matter with Obama, and it doesn’t matter here. Now find it.”

Having found his playbook, the President immediately starting working on his strategy to discredit Harris, which includes such classic tactics as playing up an interesting middle name (“Devi”), mentioning she spend some of her childhood in Canada, and insinuating she’s a foreigner at heart.

“Clearly her ancestors came to this country from elsewhere, unlike white people who have been here since the dinosaurs roamed.”