An irate President Trump was fuming in the White House today, after learning that First Lady Melania Trump was romantically connected to the President of the U.S. Virgin Islands.
“I hear they even have a son together. So wrong!”
Though his first instinct was to bomb the Caribbean territory, Trump’s anger subsided when he was told how pathetic the First lady’s paramour really was.
“He’s really dumb and has tiny tiny hands, so it’s hard to get too jealous. Sad!”
On being confronted by the press, Melania admitted that she was indeed in a relationship with the President of the U.S. Virgin Islands, but it was not all it seemed.
“Despite appearances we’re not really that close at all – to be honest I find him repellant.”
President Trump was further angered on hearing rumors that Melania was also involved with the President of Guam.
“And after all I’ve done to protect the people of Guam from North Korea. Unfair!”