(The White House) After publicly touting the Gettysburg National Military Park as a possible venue for his acceptance of the Republican Party nomination, President Trump was incensed today to discover he wouldn’t be the first President to give a rousing speech there.
“Supposedly Abraham Lincoln gave some kind of address at Gettysburg already. But it was nowhere near as good as the one I had planned. Not even close!”
His anger only increased when he found out that the Confederate forces lost the battle Gettysburg is famous for.
“Why didn’t anyone tell me my side lost?”
Trump said he would look for somewhere else where he wouldn’t be overshadowed by the memory of another President.
“I’m thinking Dallas, Texas.”
HELP KEEP THE SATIRE COMING!