Trump Furious To Learn He Wouldn’t Be The First President To Give Speech At Gettysburg

(The White House) After publicly touting the Gettysburg National Military Park as a possible venue for his acceptance of the Republican Party nomination, President Trump was incensed today to discover he wouldn’t be the first President to give a rousing speech there.

“Supposedly Abraham Lincoln gave some kind of address at Gettysburg already. But it was nowhere near as good as the one I had planned. Not even close!”

His anger only increased when he found out that the Confederate forces lost the battle Gettysburg is famous for.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me my side lost?”

Trump said he would look for somewhere else where he wouldn’t be overshadowed by the memory of another President.

“I’m thinking Dallas, Texas.”

HELP KEEP THE SATIRE COMING!

7 Comments on "Trump Furious To Learn He Wouldn’t Be The First President To Give Speech At Gettysburg"

  1. Ha, Ha, very funny , NOT! Does fake news have any morals left?

  2. What a bunch of crap ! Fake news is just hurting their self. We see right threw this crap . Just give it up already. Please print something that is important. There’s plenty out there. Just so sad 😭 it has come to this. It’s like romper room . Have all my reporters have fun at play!!!!

  3. The comments are the best lol.

  4. Yes. Fake news on the satirical site. Thanks for the update. Although, judging by your response, perhaps many do need this update. Do yourself a favor and check on the end of World War
    II.

  5. This too funny. Keep’em coming. Funnier still is knowing a lot of readers believe this.

  6. This article is such a lie. Fake news

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