Trump In Panic Mode After Biden Deploys Five-Word Insult

President Trump’s recent good mood was ruined today with news that Joe Biden poses a far greater campaign threat than he had assumed. The inciting incident was an answer given by Joe Biden in New Hampshire where he playfully insulted a difficult questioner who claimed to have been to a caucus by calling her a ‘lying dog-faced pony soldier’.

“That’s more than twice the standard number of words. Wrong!”

The President, who considers himself an expert on the two-word insult, fears that Biden’s upping the ante to five words will put him at a terrible advantage.

“What if he starts using whole insult sentences?”

Trump was further dismayed to learn that Biden was referencing a John Wayne movie when he made the quip.

“If this election comes down to cross referencing information stored in other parts of your brain I’m screwed.”

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