Say he was ‘sorry, so sorry, I’ve never been more sorry’, President Trump today offered his son Eric Trump to be a spy for North Korea in an attempt to repair his bromance with Kim Jong-un.

“Our CIA used one of your own family members – a beloved half-brother that you had executed – to spy on you so it’s only fair I do this.”

Trump made the offer after previously admitting it was wrong for the CIA to have recruited Kim’s half brother, and he hoped having Eric spy for the regime would make up for it.

“Just let his handlers know that he’s not sneering at them – that’s the way he always looks.”

Kim said he appreciated Trump’s offer to have one of his children be an informant for the North Korean espionage service, but he wanted Ivanka instead.

“At least she knows something, unlike those dotard sons of yours.”