Trump Pledges To Help Thousands Of Matchstick Alabamians Affected By Hurricane

President Trump has said he will release federal aid to assist the many thousands in the State of Alabama who are suffering because of the hurricane landfall.

“See? I was right.”

In the Oval Office he showed tragic images depicting the havoc they were experiencing.

“This one’s almost horizontal!”

He said the damage may be even worse once he’s got a new sharpie, as the one he was using dried out.

“FEMA should have more of these on hand. Sad!”

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