Trump Promises Better Jobs Report Once He Accidentally Starts A War With Russia

The latest jobs report is out and though 98,000 jobs were added in March this is viewed as disappointing compared to previous numbers indicating that jobs growth is losing steam.

President Trump, who laid claim to improving employment prospects during the election, is not dodging the issue. He took to twitter to make a firm promise to those concerned by the less-than-impressive numbers.

“Don’t worry – there’ll be jobs for everyone once I stumble into a full-on war with Russia. #MAGA”

Economists say Trump is correct that war with a powerful adversary can lead to mass employment, as was the case during World War Two.

“It’s actually one of the best ways to create jobs if you don’t mind all the death, destruction, and horrifying injuries.”

Some commentators were skeptical that Trump will be able to engage in a military conflict with a country that has a nuclear arsenal to rival our own because that would be insane, but most were optimistic.

“This is Donald Trump we’re talking about – he’ll find a way.”

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