President Trump has admitted he does not have in his possession tapes of conversations he had with the FBI Director he fired, James Comey.

The revelation appeared at first to contradict previous statements that strongly suggested he had the so-called ‘Comey tapes’, until Trump explained they were inadvertently destroyed.

“It made sense to get them away from prying eyes in Washington DC, so I transferred them to a self-storage facility in a quiet town in Kentucky for safekeeping.”

But little did the President know then that he was putting them directly in harm’s way.

“Unfortunately the name of that sleepy Kentucky town was Bowling Green.”

Though those tapes were completely destroyed in the rampaging fires that followed the terrifying Bowling Green attack, Trump says he still has his tapes of conversations with special prosecutor Robert Mueller.

“They’re presently under lock and key in Sweden for whenever I need them.”

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