As he intensified his trade war with China, President Trump today pledged to use his Federal authority to buy up certain products that he believes may be affected.
“I will not allow our great fast food industry to be destroyed by these tariffs.”
Trump said he has therefore instructed aides to purchase as many burgers, fries, and personal pizzas as possible starting now.
“This is so important to me I refuse to wait for the wonks to report on how this crucial industry has been affected.”
The designated products will be taken directly to the White House for storage, with a plan for their future disposition to be determined later.
“I will find a way. Believe me.”
The immediate effect of this is expected to be a precipitous rise in the cost of fast food, particularly Big Macs, as demand rapidly outstrips supply.