Trump Uses Sharpie To Make Kansas City Part Of Kansas

(Kansas City, ??) Residents of Kansas City awoke to find themselves not just Super Bowl champions but also part of a different state today. It followed the altering of the border of the State of Kansas by President Trump using his trusty sharpie in the early morning hours.

Governor Kelly wasted no time welcoming the hundreds of thousands of new residents of her state. Anyone doubting the power of the President’s sharpie to make sweeping change at a stroke was reminded to brush up on their Presidential sharpie history.

“Remember that this is a writing instrument with the power to change hurricanes.”

The development does pose a problem for residents of the Kansas City that was already in Kansas, who have demanded that they be relocated by sharpie to another state so they can keep their city name.

“Nebraska sounds nice.”

The move by the President is seen as important as he previously tweeted congratulations to the Kansas City Chiefs from “the Great State of Kansas”[sic] for their Super Bowl win. This would have been incorrect and quite dumb looking were it not for his timely redrawing of the Kansas-Missouri border.

“Thankfully we can hold our heads high as the President is technically not a stone cold idiot anymore.”

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17 Comments on "Trump Uses Sharpie To Make Kansas City Part Of Kansas"

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  4. This president has just invoked his executive privilege to move state borders.

  5. YES YES YES! The Chiefs are in Missouri, Kansas City Missouri!!

  6. Well…there IS a Missouri City in Missouri, but it’s like, population 300!

  7. Wilma, there is indeed a Missouri City. It’s in the state I f Texas! 😄

  8. To Frank L. Miller… The Kansas City Chiefs play in Missouri!😀

  9. Missouri City is in Texas!😄

  10. I know Trump is a bit Sharpie-happy, but I am confused…Kansas City is not in Kansas? I pulled up a map, including a blowup of the area and the Stateline heads straight north then takes a serpentine curve to the west nd wriggles around TWO Kansas City’s one in Missouri and the other in…well Kansas. Which is home to the Chiefs? I live on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.

  11. Well, he would say, he did go to Wharton! Never got through 8th grade geography (taught the old way!)!

  12. colleen brennan | February 3, 2020 at 3:16 pm | Reply

    Jon Colburn, you missed the part that stated SATIRE.

  13. Missouri City is in Texas, Don’t mess with Texas!

  14. For clarity, Kansas City is in Kansas. There is also a Kansas City in Missouri. The Chiefs are, in fact, in Kansas City Missouri. Your headline does not make you look much better than the POtuS.

  15. I like his logic. If you use the name Kansas City, then you belong in Kansas. Other wise, you should be Missouri City!

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