Trump’s Inspection Of White House Bunker Finds It Highly Suitable For Cowardice

Facing criticism for retreating to a White House bunker recently, it was revealed today that President Trump was not barricaded underground for fear of protest crowds gathered outside, but was merely inspecting the facility instead.

“The President was simply verifying that the bunker was in good working order and fit for purpose.”

White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany confirmed that the inspection was carried out successfully.

“The evaluation is complete and President Trump is pleased to announce it makes for an excellent coward’s lair.”

Sources indicate that the President intends to continue carrying out routine inspections of the bunker to be sure it remains in top condition.

“If it should fail in any regard to provide complete protection for yellow bellies, this President is going to catch that straight away.”

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1 Comment on "Trump’s Inspection Of White House Bunker Finds It Highly Suitable For Cowardice"

  1. Jeffery S Winn | June 4, 2020 at 8:18 pm | Reply

    At 49, finding excellent satire has been difficult. I used to rush to 7-11 when I was a kid to buy National Lampoon every month, but I had to hide it when I got home because there were often exposed breasts. I get it when people say they read something for the articles because I remember all of the material, but none of the breasts. You should offer a digital subscription with push notifications; I’d buy that!

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