(The White House) The President is said to look almost unrecognizable this morning, due to his signature orange tan vanishing overnight.

“He looks, well, normal.”

Tanning experts say nobody should be surprised, given the high doses of shade he was exposed to at the State Of The Union address.

“Maintaining a warm glowing tan requires staying away from shade, not being on the receiving end of an avalanche of it from Nancy Pelosi.”

They said nothing is effective other than behaving in a way that avoids shade in the first place.

“I don’t care how good your genes are. Shade will always get you in the end.”