At its first public meeting, President Trump’s invite-only twelve-person commission on voter fraud has decided 20 to 0 to continue its investigation of voter fraud in the 2016 election.

Formed by Trump in light of his determined belief that he would have won the popular vote but for rampant fraud that gave Hillary Clinton three million more ballots, the panel has already uncovered tens of thousands of Trump supporters denied their voting rights by being killed in the Bowling Green massacre in the Republican stronghold of Kentucky before the election took place.

When combined with the millions of undocumented aliens who cheerfully risked being deported for the thrill of standing in long lines outside a school gymnasium to vote illegally, they say the popular vote clearly should have gone for Trump.

All this is before the panel has even gotten to the issue of non-human mammals voting in disproportionate numbers for Hillary, despite the fact that only members of the genus Homo sapiens are supposed to according to the Constitution. Many districts have refused to hand over voter rolls to the panel citing concerns over potential abuse, however co-chair Kris Kobach says it is clearly due to many of them having voted with paws.

The meeting concluded with the panel announcing plans to investigate rumors that slave children from Mars had been bussed in to vote against Trump, despite the fact that, being minors, they are not entitled to do so.

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