UAE Warns Americans To Avoid Traditional US Dress Because It Looks Like Crap

The United Arab Emirates has issued a warning to all American citizens not to wear traditional US garb in order to minimize the risk that they look like they have given up on life. The warning follows an earlier one directed at its own citizens not to wear the traditional Emirati dress of robes and a headscarf when in the United States for their own safety.

That warning was prompted by the violent apprehension of a businessman from Abu Dhabi by police in Ohio recently. He was wearing the traditional white flowing robes of his country of origin which, together with his sunglasses, looked ‘freaking awesome’ according to people who know what constitutes good dress sense. Nevertheless this didn’t prevent someone calling the police thinking he was a terrorist.

Police and town officials later apologized for the incident, calling it ‘very regrettable’. The United Arab Emirates ambassador to the United States, Yousef Al Otaiba, quickly issued a response:

“Not as regrettable as most of your citizens fashion choices though.”

The UAE then issued the warning to their citizens to avoid traditional Emirati clothing in the USA for their safety, as well as the follow-up advisory notice to Americans that they should refrain from wearing tradition US garb either at home or abroad.

“Not because of any specific threat – well except to anyone with good taste.”

They later issued a clarification concerning certain exceptions, noting that the Southwestern part of the county had some interesting attire, for example.

“But many of you might as well be wearing sweatpants when you’re out of the house – oh wait – you are wearing sweatpants outside of the house.”

The State Department, while refusing to comment on the initial warning about not wearing Emirati dress, said the second instruction urging Americans to try to dress like they still cared was probably sound advice.

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