UK Asks United States To Hold All Its Warm Beer

The United Kingdom has elected Boris Johnson and the Conservative party for another five years with a commanding majority. Though many reason, including Brexit, has been given for the victory, a study has found it was the country’s fierce ‘hold my beer’ rivalry with the United States that caused it.

In what has been described as the biggest incident of beverage holding since Japan asked the Third Reich to hold its sake in late 1941, British subjects responded to the ongoing tolerance of Donald Trump by shooting themselves in the foot yet again.

Though the UK presently has a universal health care that is the envy of the world, returned Prime Minister Boris Johnson has pledged to do what it takes to justify all the warm beer holding.

“The United States may allow its own corporations to literally feed off its citizens. But – hold my tepid beer – I’m going to invite foreigners and Donald Trump to feast on the misery of ours!”

Th UK is confident it can permanently wrestle the world hold-my-beer crown from the United States based on this election result.

“At least some of you yanks are trying to impeach Trump, whereas we’ve rewarded our very own homegrown orange-topped idiot with the biggest Commons majority since since Margaret Thatcher. Remember her? Eat your heart out Ronald Reagen and your soft-hearted trickle-down economics!”

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