Following the release of a report last month warning the world’s governments that they had only 10 years to reverse course before a sequence of cataclysmic events would occur, the United Nations released an updated report today titled “Fine, Destroy The Planet, We Don’t care, Whatever”.
Insisting that they ‘couldn’t give a rat’s arsehole’ about the fate of planet Earth, the body of scientists behind both reports were adamant that they just want to party and get high during the time they have left.
“Can’t believe I was ever into that boring crap concerned with the ongoing survival of our species.”
Though some psychologists speculated that the abrupt change of opinion is a despairing response to their important and foreboding work being ignored, a UN spokesperson insisted that was not the case.
“Fuck the environment. You don’t care so why should we? Later, losers.”