United Announces One-Day Shutdown To Train Staff Not To Discriminate Against People Of Color, White People, Children, Dogs, Other Animals

Those traveling on United Airlines should check the dates of their flights, as the company announced today it will have a one-day shutdown at the end of the month to train staff not to discriminate against its customers.

Like Starbucks, United has been involved in some regrettable incidents that involve people of color, as well as regrettable incidents involving white people, shaming teenagers for their attire, and, most recently, stuffing a family’s dog in the overheard bin where it died during the flight.

“At least we haven’t killed any humans that way yet. And this training is all about making sure we don’t in the future.”

Still, CEO Oscar Munoz says that in some ways United is already living the noble ideal other companies like Starbucks aspire to achieve.

“Since we treat absolutely everyone like dirt, you could say we are the fairest company around.”

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