United Airlines Launch Promotional Campaign Featuring Man Forcefully Taken Off Plane

United Airlines are being hammered on social media over video of a passenger who was seated being violently ejected from the plane in a move described as disturbing and unnecessary. However United Airlines are seeing it as a positive as it speaks to how much passengers want to fly their airline.

“You don’t see American or Delta having to forcefully drag people off their planes.”

Though industry commentators have suggested the reason for that is because other airlines don’t resort to extreme violence to solve their overbooking mistakes, United is confident the public will see it for what it is – an example of how much love people have for United. That is why they are launching a promotional campaign around the incident featuring their new slogan:

“Choose United – The Airline People Want To Fly So Much It Hurts!”

The campaign will feature real United passengers who get physically assaulted due to their desire to ‘Fly the Fascist Skies’ starting with the doctor who was dragged off Sunday’s United flight #3411 from Chicago to Louisville.

“But we’ll be featuring new passengers we rough up over the coming months, which could be you – or your child!”

They also revealed they’re hiring as spokesperson former University of Florida student Andrew Meyer of ‘Don’t Tase Me Bro’ fame.

“We saw a lot of parallels between Andrew and how we treat passengers who don’t want to give up assigned seats they’ve paid for because they want to get to their patients.”

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