United Gate Agent Excited He Gets To Decide What Women Must Wear To Fly

A United Airlines gate agent denied boarding to a number of young girls ostensibly for wearing leggings. Those who put dresses on over them were allowed to board, while those with nothing else to wear were were not allowed to board the plane.

United Airlines defended the practice by citing their right to deny boarding to those not wearing ‘appropriate attire’. When asked what constituted appropriate attire, United remarkably said that it was entirely up to their gate agents.

The news is being well received by local United gatecheck agent Glen Meeks, who never realized he personally wields so much control over what people must wear if they wish to fly United.

Though Glen went to great lengths to make clear he is not interesting in what underage girls are wearing, when it comes to females aged 18 to 26, Glen has some new policies he’s putting in place, all with the implicit sanction of corporate headquarters.

“Let’s put it this way – if you look like you work at Hooters, you’ll be taking to the skies!”

Yoga pants, boyshorts, and low-cut tops are all cleared for takeoff, though there are some restrictions.

“Flowing floral dresses aren’t really my vibe, but if you’re working a 60s free-love theme feel free to hand me your boarding pass.”

Even those who arrive at the airport fully covered up for cold weather destinations can still get through if they show enough determination.

“Just flash something and I’ll let you through. And don’t worry – it’s all sanctioned by United Airlines management.”

Asked what male travelers should wear to ensure smooth passage at the airport, Glen looked confused.

“Whatever – who cares?”

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