Saying it was no longer a viable state, the United States had decided to abort the State of Alabama in order to preserve its mother nation’s health and well being.
“It would have had a terrible quality of life if we let it live, so it’s the right decision.”
The move was defended on the basis that the state failed to demonstrate any ability to survive independently and was effectively a parasite living off the rest of the country.
“Sadly there was evidence of severe developmental abnormalities.”
In accordance with local laws the rest of the United States was forced to view footage of what life was like in Alabama before carrying out the procedure. It was also required to listen to lengthy speeches by local politicians about what a great place Alabama was.
“Despite the obvious intention to dissuade us, that only made us even more certain that terminating this state was the 100% right thing to do.
In related news the United States is looking for a foster country to raise the state of Georgia.
Wow… there’s some stupid people in this thread that deserve to live in Alabama. Don’t be one of them. Uneducated idiot does not look good on you. States abolishing abortion should also keep the dying on life support. A heartbeat is a heartbeat. Sounds stupid huh? Well there you go dummies.
Bro this Corbin dude big fucking mad
Lmao the very first quote is exactly why people who get abortions are a piece of shit. “It wouldn’t have a quality life so it’s the right thing to do” I’m sorry miss queen of quality life was your life perfect? No? Why haven’t you aborted yourself? Kids in 3rd world countries have a poor quality life, should we just go do them a favor and mow them all down? No? Why not? That’s what you wanna do to unborn babies, what’s the difference?
well actually we’d all be better off dead anyway and what exactly are you doing to contribute to those kids in need? oh, nothing? thats what i thought.
Nama never got over losing the Civil War and their history of bombing black churches and women’s clinics without getting prosecuted or convicted is typical of the same lamebrained set of ethics that led to this anti-abortion legislation, which is why the state needs to have its electoral seats revoked.
At least one state is getting it right.
Hope you live there cuz all the mental ones should live in the same state 🤣
Anyone taking this seriously is an idiot.
Hell keep Alabama get rid of California thoughs people are ass holes.
Get rid of California, New York, Vermont, and all Sanctuary Cities and States
And here’s another scholar showing that his brains are apparently in his scrotum. Deezuts, that should be, “THOSE people.”
Don’t try to correct them. It’s like pushing a car uphill with a rope.
Great analogy!
Those*
Wow really stupid like REALLY stupid dam man lmao
red necks go home
As a current resident of Alabama I completely understand. Do what you gotta do US. We would just drag you down further than you already are.
Fucking Democrats git out of are state!
Please for the love of God pick up a book and don’t reproduce.
Please learn to spell your words when trying to get a point across. You make the rest of us look bad.
our****
wow..
TrumpFan2020…your ignorance is spelled out perfectly in your post.
*get out of *our state. I would love us to have nothing to do with you
Dumbass. That’s, “GET out of OUR state.” Everyone should want out with dumbasses like you there.
Your state is directly violating the United States Constitution, so you can take a seat and shut the hell up.
It’s a perfect f*cked up law that’s designed to be taken to The Supreme Court. Even Publicans are saying it’ll either never be heard or struck down. Once again, AL fails.
How stupid are people? this is a very obvious troll
GET and OUR
Yeah, screw Alabama lol
No please don’t screw them. Stupid is an STD in AL.
Bout damn time. Someone had to do it
wow it’s really rough seeing all of these dense people really thinking that this post is real..like jeez y’all are so fragile about your livelihood that you’ll believe everything you read at face value.
Yes, especially when there’s a tagline at the top stating that this is a satirical website. Given the spelling and grammar errors, guessing “satirical” is too big a word for that group.
We can’t just abort Alabama without building a wall around it first
Ok we own the number 1 major port in the U.S. so try that on for size starve freeze thurst oh and lets not forget the oil and gas comeing through and military ships being built here well to say the least is no military over seas lol well bye bye U.S and hello china to you all try that on for size beaches lol you idiots
Besides spending significant time trying to decipher your broken English, something isn’t a fact merely because you say it is. The port at Mobile isn’t even in the top 10 busiest ports in the US. It’s 11th. https://www.worldatlas.com/articles/the-busiest-cargo-ports-in-north-america.html. Btw, you’re pretty much the poster child as to exactly WHY Alabama, should be aborted. No viable brain function.
The nuns at my grade school would have spanked you for that attempt at grammar.
Ok we own the major port in the U.S. so try that on for size starve freeze thurst ih and lets not forget the oil and gas comeing through and military ships being built here well to say the least is no military over seas lol well bye bye U.S and hello china to you all try that on for size beaches lol you idiots
You’ve never heard of O’Hare or LAX? Cause those are some pretty big airports, bigger than yours. Seems like the country would actually do better getting rid of geniuses like you.
He’s not talking about an airport dummy.
Lol la,miami,new york, new jersey all bigger ports
I’m from Alabama and I’ve lived on the Gulf Coast for my whole life. I totally disagree with the decisions of my states Lawmakers, it’s sickening! However not everyone in this state has those beliefs I come from an area of the state that is economically prosperous, it’s its the 13th fastest growing area in the country. Even though my states lawmakers are determined to keep us in the past wiltb backwards thinking luckily there’s a majority of us that thinks otherwise. Only time will tell if things will change 🙁
Alabama gets $1.71 from the federal government for every dollar it pays in taxes, the seventh highest ratio in the country. Alabama is a FREELOADER STATE as are many of the other Red states. There is a very high correlation between states that vote Republican meaning many voters in those states seem to think the federal government is stealing from them whereas the opposite is true. Look it up!
Far from a majority, Ann Lee! An extreme and Christian Extremist minority! (And how they could call themselves “pro-life” when they are also anti-gun control, pro-war, anti-fair living wages, pro police brutality, pro incarcerating little kids at the border, and letting them die in too many cases, is a mystery to anyone!). Also, not a shifting tide, but a shifting balance of power (temporary, the majority of us hope). Into the hands of a minority of Right Wing Americans who support such barbarity as women receiving the death penalty for miscarriages, and who consolidate their disproportionate grip on power by gerrymandering, obstructing the vote, and other anti-democratic practices. If you are getting your “facts and figures” (statistics, polls, etc.) from Faux News or someplace, please do not embarrass yourself in public by quoting them. They are complete and utter nonsense! Facts like that are only facts in places like Alabama!
Umm we have gun control so can you please stfu about that? We have background checks we have policies in place to make sure normal responsible adults can get guns. I love my ability to carry, and it has saved me before. I’m pro choice, pro gun, anti war, for free healthcare, and all that jazz. But guns are needed for americans so long as the knowledge to create them exist. America was founded on this right because we as americans need to be able to fight back against government tryanny. Why did America have such a had time fighting the war in the middle east? Because the average cotizen owned rifles, and were able to fight back against a government invader. Americans need guns to fight back against oppression and tyranny both foreign and domestic.
Take Mississippi, Georgia, Texas , Louisiana, Arkansas and Oklahoma with you for openers please.
Get rid of Georgia?! Are you stupid?
Texas wanted to leave the United States almost 7 years ago and Obama wouldn’t let them leave. If I remember correctly they had a petition and they got enough for the President at the time (Obama) said no. And now you think Texas should go
Y’all need to learn to keep y’all opinions to your self. Because PEOPLE. UNITED STATES CITIZENS lives in these states.
“Yourself” is one word. It’s a fact, not just an opinion.
You forgot Kentucky and Tennessee, and y’all can keep Florida.
LET THE BIDDING BEGUN! HOW MUCH TO FORCE ALABAMA TO SECEDE?
Yes, it corrected BEGIN into BEGUN lol. I live in Alabama and I despise our government’s actions, both State AND Federal.
I am actually embarrassed to be from Georgia. This is a sad time for women right now.
Pfft. All the research, all the polls, and all the statistics indicate that a pro-life majority exists in this country. The pro-abortion minority better get used to more laws like this. There is a shifting tide you’re just beginning to see the tip of. If you don’t think the end of abortion, the great American holocaust, could become a reality in your lifetime, you’re fooling yourself.
How stupid are you to believe abortion is the “Great American Holocaust”?
Why all the hubub, women have been exerting control over the bodies of others all the time. Who’s body is it when a women decides to circumcise a baby, the baby has no input into the decision at all.
WOMEN have been exerting control?????? What an idiotic remark. It’s usually fathers who want circumcision so son will “look like his dad.” It’s a cultural atrocity, you can’t blame that on women. And there’s a big difference between that and being forced to reproduce when you don’t want to/can’t/shouldn’t.
If you don’t want to reproduce, then don’t have sex or use birth control. Very simple.
Struck a nerve? Yes Women control that decision, do an informal survey. Sucks to be wrong.
The countries inbred population will decrease by 50%
No that will be if Mississippi was the State
I’ve been to both, can safely say Alabama is a lot worse.
I do not regret this decision. Hopefully the country that volunteers to foster Georgia can help it learn tolerance and empathy.
How about we abort Georgia instead since they seem so keen on the idea.
How about you abort yourself
We will incinerate democrats.
You will suck my dick first.
If that’s what it will take, drop your pants, buddy! I don’t do deep throat though.
Expect the knock, my friend.
Good riddance.
I’m from Alabama.. and I agree… just slide us off into the ocean!!!
You forgot to add a fee more states! Thanks for the deep belly laugh!
Thanks for that. We can’t have all those unwanted Alabamans wandering around.
Works for me.
right on!