Despite fears that it was unlikely or even impossible, the United States is still here and seemingly intact a full six hours into the National Emergency.

“If this isn’t a miracle I don’t know what is.”

Though nobody is suggesting we let our guard down in the face of the existential threat identified by President Trump, some people are daring to suggest we could get through this.

“I’m planning my life on the basis this country still exists tomorrow.”

People who already quit their jobs a blew their life saving on Vegas are being advised the world as they know it may continue to exist for days or even weeks.

“But we dare not dream of months, not with this terrible National Emergency hanging over our heads.”