United’s eagerly anticipated show of being sorry for what happened on one of its flights is now well into its first week, with rumors abounding that the hugely expensive production is struggling.

Theatre critics were reluctant to speak at length about a performance that is still in previews, but agreed to give their first impressions off the record.

“Obviously opening night was a shambles, but that’s what preview apologies are for – to allow you to work out the kinks and see what the audience will respond to.”

They are encouraged by the producers’ willingness to incorporate new elements into their apology even at this late stage, with news coming that all the passengers on the flight that inspired the show are to receive a refund.

“Don’t count out this apology just yet. Remember Spiderman the Musical was in previews for months – of course it did end up a total disaster.”

Leading cast member Oscar Munoz says he expects to continue in previews for at least another three weeks, before debuting his official apology that critics will be invited to respond to.

“And if that doesn’t win them over, the producers can always try rebooting the show with a different star.”