With all eyes in Hollywood on the prize for Best Picture at the 2018 Academy Awards, a movie untainted by scandalous association rates it’s prospects at a very healthy 50-50.

The film’s producers, who somehow have no connection whatsoever to Harvey Weinstein, are hoping to top the Best Picture category by beating out the producers of the other movie that can make the same claim.

“We, like them, were honored to learn we will receive nominations in the Best Picture category, as well as in every other category.”

With only two movies unsullied enough to even be in contention, it’s going to be a record-breaking Academy Awards, with more Oscars awarded to individual movies than ever before.

That still leaves the question of who will host the ceremony, after Amy Poehler and Tina Fey said they were too disgusted right now to have anything to do with the 2018 Oscars.

“Hopefully Billy Crystal is still alive next year, and hasn’t been whipping his cock out.”