USA Celebrates Anniversary Of Disastrous AMEXIT Vote That Somehow Worked Out Well

What do you mean "Leave Won" ?

At cookouts all across the United States, the infamous AMEXIT vote that took place during the Continental Congress in 1776 is being celebrated. On that 2nd day of July (the anniversary celebrated is actually the subsequent Declaration of Independence which was the technical notification that formally triggered the AMEXIT process) many who voted to leave the British Empire still believed AMEXIT would never happen.

“Yes I marked my ballot in favor of AMEXIT but only because I wanted to scare King George III with a strong protest vote. I never intended to actually rise up against the most powerful seafaring Empire the world has ever known. That would be fucking insane.”

But George Washington – who, as a promising officer in the British army, was always suspected of being something of a Remainer – believed that once the people’s representatives had spoken, their word was sacrosanct, no matter how many of them were crapping their longjohns the next day when they realized the implications of what they had just done.

“We have voted for AMEXIT, so AMEXIT we will.”

Having decided upon that course, Washington consulted with the most strongly Anglo-skeptic factions to see what advance preparations they had made to handle the scenario in which the AMEXIT they had pushed for came to pass. He was especially interested to know what had they done to establish a professional army capable of defeating the British.

“Nothing, eh? Well I guess I’ll just have to round up some militia and make do. Nitwits!”

Surprisingly, Washington went on to defeat the British forces and establish a sovereign nation that would grow to become the most powerful country on the planet, giving hope to all countries that petulantly leave unions in defiance of all common sense. Historians do have one word of warning though.

“Always make sure you have the French on your side. Otherwise you are well and truly fucked.”

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