A native Alaskan man is apologizing today for shooting the National Security Advisor John Bolton in what he insists was a case of mistaken identity.
“I was simply trying to feed my village.”
The walrus hunter said he understands hunting walruses is frowned upon in the wider world, but insists it is a tradition in his community that should be respected.
“I receive many insults on social media for shooting walruses, though none as yet for shooting John Bolton.”
He asked that his sincere apology be transmitted to Bolton.
“You should also check one more time to be sure, because I still have a nagging suspicion that the National Security Advisor really is a crusty old walrus.”