News that a teacher opened fire in the classroom at a Dalton High School is just the evidence we need that armed teachers are a great idea, said NRA President Wayne LaPierre this afternoon.

“Obviously this is a strong argument for having more teachers with guns, as the only way to stop a bad teacher with a gun is a good teacher with even more guns.”

Additionally, he says the NRA will now recommend that all students carry guns too, due to the possibility that smaller schools may only have a few teachers with most or all of them being bad.

“How are our students expected to learn if they can’t get their hands on an AR-15. Shame on you, Dicks.”

But this is the the tip of the iceberg according to LaPierre, when it comes to how many people need to be armed to make our schools safe again.

“The shooter in the Florida school shooter was a former pupil, and the only way to stop a bad alumni with a gun is – you know the drill.”