In a total surprise to all but their closest friends, US President Donald Trump and North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-un have sealed their relationship during a lavish wedding ceremony at the DMZ where the Korean peninsula is split in two.
“It was so beautiful.”
In attendance were Trump’s eldest daughter Ivanka, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, and all the North Korean diplomats that had met the US delegation before who are still alive.
Speculation that it was a shotgun wedding was rampant, though those close to the couple say the urgency was only because they felt their love for each other so deeply.
The matter of offspring is expected to come up in due course, however, as President Trump is known to insist on blessing all of his relationships with child.
As Trump is still married to Melania, this does technically make him a bigamist, though he brushed off concerns that it could cause a problem with his evangelical base.
“If anything they’ll love me even more.”
Vice-President Mike Pence unsurprisingly said he and his wife could not attend the ceremony because of their deeply-held religious beliefs, though Pence is rumored to have conveyed a private message to Trump saying ‘I wish I could be as brave as you’.
It will be a long distance marriage for now, as both intend to carry on with their own jobs despite their recent nuptials, though it is understood Trump may move to North Korea to be with his spouse full-time once he is constitutionally prevented from leading the United States any longer. Kim Jong-un is expected to preside over North Korea for life.
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