Wexford Partygoer Shocked to learn Charity Function is about Helping People

Pittsburgh's elite helping out earthquake victims.

Wexford native and former prom queen Britney Reidenbach has always lit up every room she enters. Consequently, this fun-loving 22 year old is no stranger to Pittsburgh’s legendary party scene, which is widely documented by Whirl Magazine and Nak You Out for the benefit of less attractive Pittsburghers who wish to enjoy it too, albeit vicariously.

It was at a recent downtown function at The Pennsylvanian that Britney was shocked to find out from a coat check attendant that the purported objective of the champagne social and guest DJ set was to help some people on the other side of the world, who, unlike her, didn’t have running water or Kohler fixtures.

“I’m always someone’s ‘plus-one’ so I never saw the tickets.”

Up until this point she had not realized that all the wealthy socialites and local personalities around her were not, despite appearances, having a great time in their fancy attire, but were actually engaged in arduous charity work.

“I had no idea. I’m such a ditz!”

Since her discovery, the delightful, but self-admittedly naïve, nursing major has taken it upon herself to make up for her former negligence. Whereas before she would hit the dance floor with her date and do endless shots, she now chooses to behave with more decorum, given the overarching theme of helping the less fortunate.

“When I introduce myself to a circle of people, I often find they are under the same misapprehension, because they will be talking about sports cars or the latest restaurant opening, and not the poor souls we’ve all gathered to help.”

She’s happy to educate others who are as sweetly ignorant as she once was.

“I’m not shy, so I’ve no problem butting in and turning the conversation to the matter of vaccination rates in western Africa or whatever. I know they appreciate it, because they all nod dutifully at what I have to say. Then they usually need the restroom.”

Ever since learning that the goal of these functions is to raise money for the sick and needy, Britney happily pays for every event she attends out of her own pocket, knowing it’s for a worthy cause.

“It’s a good thing too, because the complimentary invitations have mysteriously dried up!”

With her graduation date approaching, Britney was looking forward to attending even more charity events in Pittsburgh, but local organizers have encouraged her to think about how much more good she could do in a bigger city. She is touched by their thoughtfulness and plans to do just that.

“They even printed out some nursing job opportunities in the New York metropolitan area, and bought me a one-way ticket.”

Britney, we wish you well.

Pittsburgh's elite helping out earthquake victims.

Pittsburgh’s elite helping out earthquake victims.

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