White House Dismisses Allegations Against Kavanaugh As Locker Room Rape

The White House weighed in on the growing Brett Kavanaugh controversy today, stating their position that their Supreme Court nominee has nothing to apologize for.

“We believe this to be a case of locker room rape and nothing more.”

Based on the descriptions of the incident so far, the President is reportedly of the opinion it amounts to little if anything.

“It just sounds like a bit of bawdy fun between two guys and an unwilling girl.”

The President added that there may have been some locker room collusion with Russia during the 2016 election, but that was the full extent of it.

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