White House Explains President’s Slurred Speech “He’s senile and insane, okay?”

The White House today finally addressed charges that President Trump’s speech on the status of Jerusalem was garbled.

Though the content of the speech should have provided plenty of fodder, many in the press focused on the President’s apparent slurring of his words towards the end.

Far from being worried by questions on it, the White House Press Office expressed irritation that the slurred words required an explanation at all.

“It’s not that complicated – he’s a raving mad septuagenarian who only eats cheeseburgers and never sleeps. What did you expect?”

Press Secretary Sanders when on to chastise the public for complaining about the President’s delivery on social media, saying it was far better than they deserve.

“It’s a miracle he’s not slurring even more words. Anyway you voted for him when he was very clear about the kind of President he would be so what’s the problem?”

Despite having been on the defensive until now, Sanders said the White House plans to be much more relaxed about criticism from here on in.

“Candidate Trump was very upfront that his would be a racist bloviating Presidency that rarely made sense and he’s fulfilling his campaign promises to be very best of his abilities. So how about some gratitude?”

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