Saying it was too much of a struggle to keep up with the steady stream of firings and resignations, the White House said today that it will instead be announcing who is not yet leaving from now on.

“Every morning we will issue a statement announcing who is not fired, with a follow up confirmation that those same people are still not fired in the afternoon.”

The move is part of an effort to streamline White House operations, as far too many resources were being spent detailing who had been fired.

“The President was angered by how much time it was taking staff members to do this, which he unfortunately dealt with by firing more of them.”

When asked to confirm if anyone had been fired today, a White House spokesperson said that everyone had not been fired, though warned that could change at any moment.