White House To Instead Release Names Of Those Who Don’t Have COVID-19 Going Forward

(The White House) In a bid to save everyone’s time, the White House has announced that, going forward, it will update the media with the names of people working there who aren’t actively fighting a COVID-19 infection rather than the approach they have been taking up to now.

“It’s more efficient this way.”

Not only will it save people time, they say, anyone printing out the list will need less paper.

“Who says the Trump administration doesn’t care about the environment?”

Someone standing in for coronavirus-ridden Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany said that if no updates are given, that doesn’t mean they are trying to hide anything.

“It simply tells you that – per the new update protocol – you can infer everyone from the President on down to the overnight janitorial staff are shedding virus.”

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