(Rockville, MD) Recognizing that the Public Health Service may have been putting the cart before the horse by focusing on nutrition, hydration, and exercise, US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy is launching a major campaign to…
Pitt Student Jake Roland may not be the most political person on campus, but you wouldn’t know it this Mother’s Day, for which he forgot to send a card this year. Suddenly displaying anti-capitalist principles…
Have fallen on hard times recently, antipodean singer Iggy Azelea has decided to shift gears, abandoning her Georgia hip hop persona to reinvent herself as a down-to-earth county singer. “Thankfully I have finally got to…
The City of Pittsburgh is in a state of utter consternation after one of its (formerly) favorite residents – a Hays nest bald eagle – killed a cat and proceeded to shamelessly eat it right…
Proving you are never to old to engage in make believe, failing Republican candidate Ted Cruz has chosen Carly Fiorina to be his imaginary vice president in his pretend administration. Though it’s highly unusual for…
[Lexington, KY] A Noah’s Ark theme park due to open in 2016 featuring a full size replica of the biblical vessel is in jeopardy due to a disagreement between founder Answers in Genesis (AiG) and…
[Geneva, Switzerland] The CERN press office is being inundated with questions from all over the world following its largest ever release of raw data from the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) to the general public. Described…
[Ducie, Pitcairn Islands] Reality TV fans are in shock following the surprise alliance between survivor contestants Ted Cruz and John Kasich, which they never expected to occur this late in the season. The popular show,…
As his 2016 tour enters its European leg, Bruce Springsteen is warning his overseas fans he will no longer be able to fit in any of his own material given the ongoing epidemic of musical…
Though God normally lets atheists to vanish into nothingness instead of dispatching their souls to heaven or the underworld, in an instance of foul temper God has reportedly chosen to reanimate the entity that is…
[Hollywood, CA] Film Producer Paramount has been receiving a lot of shade over the casting of Scarlett Johansson (who is white) in the lead role of the movie ‘The Ghost in the Shell’ – meaning…
[Waterloo, ON] Always newsworthy Canadian Premier Justin Trudeau caused yet another media splash today when he spoke at the world famous Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics, which is receiving a $50 million budget to fund…
A man is still recovering from a fatal blunder made when attempting to buy groceries at his local store, right after the cashier made a perfunctory inquiry about his well-being that was never meant to…
[Prague, Budland] The country formally known only as the Czech Republic has announced it will henceforth be known as “Budland”. Government officials were initially planning to rename it “Czechia” as the Czech Republic was long-viewed…
[Watertown, NY] Republican candidate John Kasich has drawn criticism over a comment to a female college student worried about sexual violence, harassment and rape that she should avoid parties where there’s a lot of alcohol….
[Pittsburgh, PA] At a rally at the convention center in Pittsburgh, Republican candidate Donald Trump confused a generally supportive crowd when he indicated one of his policies once in office will be to bring former…
After escaping from a New Zealand aquarium to the ocean through a hole in the floor, Inky the Octopus was expected never to be heard from again. But the enterprising cephalopod was spotted of the…
Neuro-degenerative brain disease is a scourge that affects many Americans of advancing years, the latest example being a beloved father and grandfather in Pittsburgh. His family, all of whom live nearby, started noticing minor memory…
[British Virgin Islands] Keen to take advantage of the recent publicity the Panama Papers has generated, a Caribbean-based bank has launched a new program aimed at the obscenely rich who have children. Called “Baby’s First…
Following Rock Legend Bruce Springsteen’s decision not to perform in North Carolina in protest at laws targeting the LGBT community, conservative elements in the entertainment community are fighting back with protests of their own. Leading…
