Four-year-old child prodigy Edward Sears, an avid reader from Swissvale with an IQ estimated to be in the mid 200s, always makes things interesting for his parents, but especially so at Halloween. They freely admit…
The National Weather Service has issued an alert concerning a massive ego formation situated over the continental United States that is expected to become highly volatile in the near future causing widespread disruption. The ego…
First it was shiny legs or white paint, then it was wailing Bill Murray – or was it wailing Tom hanks? But those reactions were nothing compared to the latest online celebrity picture that’s driving…
[Cupertino, CA, 9:43am PST] There was widespread panic this morning at Apple’s headquarters when executives suddenly realized it was already October 27, the date of Apple’s trademark media event that technology fans and journalists wildly…
Kathleen Kane is in the news again after launching a high-profile campaign to improve conditions for inmates in the State of Pennsylvania. She insists it’s vitally important that those involved in law enforcement do not…
There were plenty of red faces at the Pentagon today as top military brass from the General Chiefs of Staff on down completely forgot they were engaged in a military conflict in Afghanistan. The embarrassing…
The third Presidential debate managed to be more substantive than the second, though that didn’t prevent the biggest takeaway being Donald Trump’s declaration that he would do away with “Bad Hombres” once he was elected….
(Las Vegas, NV) After the way the second debate went down, organizers realized the usual moderators drawn from the news media are insufficient for the ugly conflict that this year’s Presidential contest has become. For…
(Vatican City) Showing he is prepared to move with the times, Pope Francis has ordered a theological commission to propose reforms of the Catholic Church’s penal system, with a particular emphasis on ending the practice…
Speaking at a campaign stop today, Donald Trump called for all clowns to be deported following an epidemic of scary clowns that have been terrorizing the country. The head of the Clowns of America organization…
The literary world has been shaken upside-down by the surprise award of the Nobel Prize for literature to Bob Dylan. Prominent among the critics is Ngũgĩ Wa Thiong’o, who had been the favorite to take…
The rust belt city that is synonymous with reinvention, Pittsburgh, is about to embark on the final step in moving beyond its outdated image as a smog ridden industrial relic – by changing its name….
The focus of the second Presidential debate was those undecided voters who somehow haven’t been exposed to enough endless political coverage to make their minds up. But on Sunday night they finally did, going in…
(Suwon, South Korea) Samsung Electronics Co. Ltd. [SSNLF] has pulled its latest smartphone offering – the Galaxy Note 7 – from shelves following consumer dissatisfaction, particularly with its novel ‘rapid energy release’ feature. Executives admitted…
Hours before the Presidential debate featuring their standard bearer who directly inspired the hashtag #grabthembythepussy, leading Republican figures have issued an earnest and unqualified apology to Dr. Ben Carson for ever saying he too nuts…
Seemingly encouraged by the success of his debate strategy of blatantly denying what is evidently true, Mike Pence frustrated reporters today by emphatically denying the existence of a person called Mike Pence. “This talk of…
(Union, NJ) Retailer Bed Bath & Beyond [BBBY] has indicated it is considering ditching its iconic and omnipresent 20% discount coupons. Though the coupons may seem like a nice offer, there has long been a…
The CONSOL Energy Center is no more, as a new naming rights deal means the home of Pittsburgh’s NHL franchise will henceforth be known as the PPG Paints Arena – after the Fortune 500 plate…
Sensing yet another opportunity to wound her opponent, Hillary Clinton has called for all candidates for President to release any pornos they have featured in, in addition to the customary practice of releasing medical records…
