Vice President Mike Pence has been sent to the exosphere by the Trump administration to send a stern warning to the climate to stop continuing down the dangerous path it has embarked on. Commentators note…
The much vaunted Frye Festival – advertised as a concert in the Bahamas costing $4000 and upwards – has rapidly become a total disaster, with concertgoers stuck there with no entertainment and deprived conditions barely…
Pittsburgh has been ranked number one in the nation for bad driving, tying with New York City. Placing first means that Pittsburgh drivers will get to represent the United States in the World’s Worst Driver…
(Lagos) Nigerian businessman Jonathan Obikwelu expressed dismay today over fears he may never get his multi-million dollar personal fortune out of the country so he can spend it how he wishes. Born to a royal…
A Rock & Roll Band – that asked not to be named out of sheer embarrassment – learned today that absolutely no-one remembers seeing them live despite having multiple sellout tours over the past two…
After much deliberation over the past few months, local resident and self-described free thinker Carl Burnkins has come out against regulations to curb fossil fuel use and limit greenhouse gas emissions. He insists this was…
In further bad news for United Airlines, an enormous bunny destined for a celebrity owner has been found dead in the cargo hold after a flight from London arrived at its destination of Chicago, Illinois….
(BERLIN) On a visit to Germany, First Daughter Ivanka Trump was roundly booed by the descendants of the nation that fell under the spell of Adolf Hitler. When asked why they had done so, the…
In a feat no-one could have foreseen, Happy Days actor Scott Baio has somehow managed the seemingly impossible – making people hate him even more than they already did. After diving into the 2016 election…
Attorney General Jeff Sessions is complaining that his reference to Hawaii as an ‘Island in the Pacific’ was just a joke and that nobody has a sense of humor anymore. “You probably don’t like this…
With the dripping sarcasm painfully obvious, the planet Earth ‘thanked’ the human race for celebrating it for ‘a whole day’ which it is reportedly finding a tiresome empty ritual at this point. It particularly wanted…
Fox News has announced it is parting ways with host Bill O’Reilly, who will now be available to pursue other opportunities, possibly as a replacement for Sean Spicer. Though O’Reilly was Fox News’s biggest draw,…
An island in the Pacific ocean, which also happens to be a State, questioned how Jeff Sessions could function as Attorney General when interviewed on a radio talk show earlier today. The island implied that…
(The White House) In a sign that he has lost his internal battle with Jared Kushner, Steve Bannon was summoned from his place in the shadows by President Trump so he could banish him to…
Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson and his longtime cortical partner have officially ended their relationship. They had been separated since late 2014 when Carson joined the Republican party, but have now decided to…
(Coachella, CA) A young white woman has had to leave a music festival in shame after not managing to fit in despite being racially identical to 99% of her fellow revelers. Feeling deeply uncomfortable, the…
Reality TV star Kendall Jenner and her brief employer the Pepsi Corporation are feeling done wrong by today as racial harmony swept through the nation over a shared love of the new Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino….
President Trump is so far the only western leader to call President Recep Tayyip Erdogan of Turkey to congratulate him on a dubious referendum victory granting him widespread autocratic powers. Trump said he’d been doing…
(London, UK) A surprise Downing Street announcement by Prime Minister Theresa May had the British Press abuzz with rumors this morning. Reflecting the loyalty of her staff, there were no leaks to give advance notice…
There were widespread sighs of relief at the White House Easter Egg Roll today after gaffe-prone spokesman Sean Spicer made it all the way through “How To Catch The Easter Bunny” without becoming an apologist…
